Shenanigans Crossing Borders

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  • All our bags are packed… and an Involuntary Layover

    HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

    Ok, that’s totally, mostly, everything we kept saying, except in more PC terms because we (really just JP doesn’t, but we) try not to swear around the kids.  

    Today is the day! We have talked about this for so long, but IT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!

    Last minute errands, getting things together, turning things off, then turning them back on, phone calls, meetings, running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off. Ugh! Did we mention stress in the past, because this was past the inflection point, this is now the point of no return, this is us literally leaving the UNITED STATES and moving around the world. We are starting now! 

    And, just in case nobody knew, Ezra moved back into the house. This alone may have dropped Elyce’s blood pressure by a few deciliters (is that even a correct measurement? Who cares, we’re not doctors – yet). Anyways, Ezra will be living at home (again), but without us, and he can manage (adulting sucks). But he knows the space and put his stuff in places that are not being occupied at the moment. 

    OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

    Our chariot arrived. JP attempted a few different vendors, but we settled on Kalaju (isn’t that name great? – they’re listed as JUber when you venmo them, ha!). We knew we were travelling with some stuffs, but did not think we warranted an entire shuttle bus to ourselves. Yet here we are, not in a comfy suburban, but a school bus, with booster seats and the worst shock absorption system since they invented charmin toilet paper.

    And no joke, in the middle of loading everything onto the bus, the veterinarian called! They just received the paperwork from the USDA, which certified that Darth and Inqueue were safe to travel. We just had to reroute our shuttle from the house to the vet to the airport. Nothing an extra $50 to the company couldn’t solve. We were really glad Elyce insisted (as usual) we leave for the airport 4+ hours before our flight. 

    Thusly (I promise that’s a real word, just like quijibo) we had lots of time built in to get the paperwork, get to the airport, check in, and head to security. No problemo with checking in and checking bags (yes, we knew there’d be fees), and they ok’d the dogs (phew),  but when we went to security, TSA asked why we were  in the precheck line. Apparently our boarding tickets didn’t have that cute little green check mark. Ugh. Back to the ticket counter, and with new boarding passes in hand, we flew through security and enjoyed our 3 hour wait

    What do you do in an airport when you have 2 doped up dogs, 1 teenager, 2 pre-teens, a grumpy spouse or 2 when you have 3+ hours on your hands? We found the “hidden” animal relief area. Probably the most confusing experience for our dogs, who’ve been trained almost their entire lives, to pee outside. And here we are, inside a facility that is stressing their drug-addled brains to the butt-sniffing maximum. And they mostly just stand there and stare at the wall, the fake grass on a weird metal stand, or the food i have in the bag…there was no win in this bathroom.

    So we just took our chances and walked them to the gate. To sit. And wait. And wait some more

    Once boarded, we sat with JP in between A & A (each one of them is short enough to get a dog under their feet). A1 got Inqueue, A2 got Darth. JP suffered the AAs 🙁

    Elyce got the V!

    Once settled into our seats, we sat and waited, and waited some more. Then we got the wings de-iced, and then we sat, and waited some more. Then finally: take off!

    Actually, it was all pretty anticlimactic. Elyce and JP were pretty adamant that nobody got to use devices, and that we should all try to sleep on the plane, and no screen time (including kindles). Yeah, thanks airline for having screens in the back of every seat. And also, thank you family right in front of us for not caring about your kid jumping up and down, screaming, and jumping up and down, and screaming, multiple times, all. Night. Long. ugh

    Though most of the flight was smooth flying, the AAs refused to sleep, ie actively found every excuse to not sleep. Oh, did I mention that the child in front of JP was making it tough, their parents fell asleep, and didn’t hear anything the child was doing. Said child kept grabbing the seats and shaking them as well as hitting and flicking the screens on the seats to make them turn on. Fun times? 

    At some point I asked a flight attendant what time it was/where we might be flying over? The built in flight tracker was not working. The attendants response, “it will get bumpy when we are over the UK”. 

    Umm, okay but where are we?

    A bit later the smooth flight got BUMPY. So I guess we’re over the UK? 

    About an hour or so later we were on the ground in Amsterdam. 

    Remember that delay I might’ve mentioned about de-icing the wings back in Chicago? Well, due to that little hiccup, we missed our connection (TBH, we only had an hour layover, so not sure how we could have made that work, even if there was no delay). 

    Okay. Deep breath. No big deal. The KLM team was on it! And boy oh boy did they do us a solid. No joke, had we been in the USA, we would’ve been told to eff-off, and to fend for ourselves for the next 23 hours until somebody might’ve cared. 

    But we definitely aren’t stateside, and that is definitely NOT the Dutch way. 

    Nosirree.  

    Instead, the KLM folk spent over an hour helping us make the next flight happen (did I mention that in the process of us leaving the US, we never got charged for the dogs? Yeah, so that’s a bit of a problem, not in that we didn’t ask (because we did), but because KLM didn’t have any record of the dogs being on board, and so any same-day connection couldn’t handle dogs…

    Ok, no big deal. 

    Amazingly, as sleep deprived as we were, we were the most calm/laid back about this as you could ask us to be. KLM was fantastic. 

    • Did it take a really long time?
      • Yes
    • Did they reschedule our flight?
      • Yes
    • Did they book us in a hotel nearby (that was dog friendly) and cover 2 full meals plus vouchers for breakfast (for each of us)?
      • Yes

    As our first night in Europe, we got to Amsterdam of all places! Presented with an excellent opportunity to see a new world, to visit unknown “coffeeshops”, to get out and about. Sadly, 1 big nope, everyone but JP (as usual) promptly fell asleep right after we ate some food.

    We never left the hotel, except when JP (as usual) walked the dogs.

    Eventually everyone passed out and by the next morning, we were not refreshed, but we got up stupid early to catch our new flight.

    Sayonara Amsterdam, Wilkomen Germany!

  • You want us to pack in what?

    Ok, before we get going, please understand that it took us a long time to get to this point. We literally had to get Elyce back into mostly functioning mode. A year ago she was practically comatose in the hospital with West Nile Virus, which developed into meningoencephalitis (look it up, it wasn’t a good thing). With the recuperation efforts, this meant we didn’t have a lot of time to do the rest of the prep work normal (or what some might call, “sane”) people would do. So we canvassed friends, relatives, ouja boards, and various animals. The conclusion was to buy some bags with lifetime guarantees on parts, and begin packing.

    Simple, right?

    T-5 days, let’s do a trial run and pack everything…

    Enter Elyce’s full on panic mode. Saturday night, 23:30, and it’s a complete disaster. Elyce is having conniptions, JP is relaxed (he also planned on only bringing 2 pairs of shorts and pants for the journey, plus maybe some other items).

    The premise of our initial baggage choices was this: only have carry-on luggage with up to 1 weeks’ worth of clothing. To do that, we purchased small, carry-on, rolling bags that could also be made into backpacks. Yup, our choice to leave our homes and lifestyles and traverse the globe would have to work in a 22Liter bag. Mind you, that’s not 22 liquid liters…No, this is probably smaller. Much, much smaller. Now, this maaaay have worked, IF we were not planning to take layers, and because none of us are skinny people, and  traveling as a family of 5, of which it turns out, 4 of us are females, let’s just say we had to make some last minute changes.

    Oh, and by the way, we somehow forgot that our adorable, cute, cuddly dogs, Darth and Inqueue, they are also part of our carry-on bags! (Yes they are small enough to fit in a carrier under the seat). And don’t forget our backpacks. 

    So now, yes, Elyce is allowed to officially start freaking out. Of course, aggravatingly, JP stayed calm and said “there is nothing we can do about this at midnight, we will figure it out in the morning. Before I leave for the recording studio, I will do 2 things: 1. Make breakfast for everyone, 2. Find a place where you can physically inspect bags and buy something new.” 

    Suffice to say, JP came through (as usual) and made an amazingly delicious breakfast (as usual), and found 2 places to inspect new baggage. By 11a, Elyce and Vered were in a neighborhood store (up in  Lincoln Square). They climbed into and out of various bags, threw them against the walls, and tried to see which one most closely resembled a hot dog. In actuality, they talked a lot, Elyce called JP, they talked a lot. In the end, they bought new and larger bags, brought them home, and finally, all is (mostly) better. 🙂 JP was right (as usual) in that we would figure it out. 

    Just a few of the bags

    Now, not to add fuel to this fire, but even with this one small, trivial, non-stressful event behind us, there’s still the mounting stress of our insurance company making it impossible for me to get my specialty pharmacy meds…

    Truth be told, we are leaving the US without my medication. Here’s to hoping I can figure it out in Europe?

  • SCARY!

    Everyone keeps saying, “How exciting!” Or they exclaim, “You’re so amazing and brave!” Or some go so far as to even say, “Have you remembered to cancel the milk?”

    What I keep reminding everyone, is they are mispronouncing the word, “Scary”. It’s hard for a lot of people to realize they aren’t speaking correctly, especially when they are so excited for someone else. A lot of people will live vicariously through us, and that’s daunting, because a lot of this feels like future failure written all over us.

    Yes, we are nuts. Yes, this is stressful. This. Is. Scary.

    That’s what you meant to say. And it’s ok, we’re scared too. :’)

    Welcome to the global sojourn: An adventure spanning the world, with a permanent cast of 5 humans and 2 dogs (there will be other characters joining us from time to time). Our family is leaving the safety and comfort of our Chicago community. As we leave behind our lovely neighbors, friends, and family, we also begin a journey to taste the world.

    And before you ask, no, we do not have an end date. We plan to be gone 1+n years. Our travels will let us bring our children to the world. None of this is terribly scripted. There isn’t a flushed out agenda. It will be chaotic, and stressful, and full of misery at times.

    And life will be exciting, and exhilarating, and fun, and adventurous. Getting out of our comfort zone, exploring the world, learning to cook in every country we visit, living like our neighbors. We put the “fun” in dysfunctional, and now we’re gonna take it global!

    Please read this blog with an understanding that what we post is post-facto. No posts will be about future activities. If you have questions and know how to reach us directly, we will gladly catch up!

    In the meantime, read, comment, and enjoy the stories we share. Welcome to your front-row seats of the show: Shenanigans, Crossing Borders!